the dreams

Remember when you had a dream that you got eaten by a huge dog? And then when you and Ty were fighting and then he totally clenched your manhood and you woke up all the sudden? ha ha ha. So freaking funny.

"WHAT did you just DO?"

Ha ha ha! Remember that one time when I was laying there with you just shootin the breeze and talking and then I yawned and then wiped the corner of my eye on the tip of your nose and you got all offended and went "what did you just do?!? Did you just wipe a booger on my nose?" And I laughed really hard and said "No, babe! It was a yawn tear!"

"You gonna hang up or what?"

Remember when I was at work and I called and talked to you for a few minutes and then we said our goodbyes and I pushed end and set the phone down continuing on with my work, typing and all that. Then after a few moments my desk started talking to me "Are you gonna hang up or what?" And it was you! Still listening in on my life. Ha ha ha. I laughed so hard cuz apparently I DIDN'T hang up (but evidently you didn't find it necessary to do so either) and I was just laughing for like ten minutes after that. Good one babe.

Water, the enemy

Remember when we were hanging out at my house and then I drank the last of my water in the water bottle and underestimated the amount that was left in it and it spilled out over my mouth onto your arm and you started laughing and I had WAY too much in my mouth to even close my mouth and so I couldn't control it and I started laughing, inhaling the water thus continuing to choke and spew and cough--WAY sexy by the way--and spilling water all over the place until I had to back wash it back into the water bottle before I died from lack of air. Whew. It was super intense.

Oops... Watch that car..

Remember that one time you were leaving my house and you were joking around and said "goodbye my love!!" and jumped in your car and backed up? Yeah, there was a car behind you and you ran right into it... You were embarrassed, but I thought that it was pretty dang funny... "Oops, guess I didn't see that car parked there...on the street... right behind me...
My bad."

How about a gas gauge that works!?!

Remember when we were going to St George in my Grandpa's truck pulling our newly acquired dirt bikes? We were halfway between Beaver and Fillmore and I looked down at the gas gauge and it said 1\4 tank... and then 30 seconds later it said 1\8 tank... and then all of the sudden it dropped below empty and the fuel light came on? Yeah, we went from 1\4 tank to out of gas and stranded on the side of the road in the middle of the night in a sum total of about 3 minutes. Lucky for us you had a mostly empty water bottle and I had the finger strength necessary to unclip the tube from my dirt bike gas tank (not an easy task in -30 degree weather... at least thats what it felt like anyway)... 2 gallons and 15 minutes later we were back on the road. That was funny.

Hot Cocoa?

Remember when you were at my house on our second or third date ever and I decided while you were in the other room to whip up some nice warm hot cocoa for the cold evening? I finished it up, put some whip creme on it and carried it to the edge of the counter, just visible from my room beyond. Then I went in to woo you with my thoughtfullness... Little did I know, I was about to get shot down denied... I came in and said "So, Ash... would you like some hot cocoa?" knowing that you had been complaining about the frigid temperature outside. Much to my surprise and disappointment you said "Hmm, nah... I don't like to eat sugar this late"... I was like "Oh... yeah... ok... sure... of course not" and slowly glanced over my shoulder to make sure that you hadn't seen the steaming cups just within sight... Lucky you hadn't, so I went in the kitchen and quickly dumped it back in the cocomotion... Good think Jim and Amy came by later to drink it so my thoughtfulness wasn't wasted :).... That was awesome.

you CLOSED your EYES? pah!

Remember when you closed your eyes? Ya. Don't ever expect to benefit from THAT service ever again. Lame.

the breaststroke...

Hey, so...remember when we swum laps together and all 230 lb 6 foot 7 of you was trying trying to do some elaborate fish out of water move? Then I asked you what exactly it was you were trying to accomplish by doing that specific swim style? "I'm doing the breaststroke!" Came the retort. "Oh!" ha ha! Oh "THAT's the breaststroke!" You may not have been back in the pool for 4 months... Oh don't look at me like I ruined your confidence in the matter! We'll practice!:) Remember how you also always have to refer to chicken as "chicken breast?" I think you just like the word...you sicko. You're like a 30 year old virgin.

Trampeded

So, I guess I like to make up new words. It's really just more an art of MIXING (an art which I have not yet obtained through the medium of watercolor painting-how come nobody told me painting was so HARD?) lame. Anyways. We were at the concert, Ingrid Michaelson, our first date EVER, thank you very much...I think you still kinda owe that for me btw...and I said "Come on! We don't wanna get trampeded so we gotta get out of here!" Nice. Something really awesome for someone to say when they're trying to make a lasting first impression on a first date. "I think you meant stampede or trampled," you chuckle. Well, lucky for me you were already around my finger cuz you kissed me 5 hours later and you've been whooped ever since! Feeling's mutual toots! Here's to making up new words:) I guess it worked. Sweet!

The worst memory of all...

Remember when I girled on your bed? That sucked.

I don't get scared

Remember when you were hiding in the darkness just behind the door at Luke's in Oregon and I walked in to have you scare the living daylights out of me but since I don't get scared I just squared up my stance and balled up my fists and growled my little Mushu Dragon (from Mulan) growl? That was kind of funny. Mostly just embarassing...

"Are they in New York?"

First of all...that movie was all OVER the place! 2012 is just like all the other "the world is ending, we're all gonna die!!" movies...Easy enough to follow for sure. But if you happen to zonk out for a SECOND you'll end up missing out on where all the action is. How someone can travel from California to China in a day should make you skeptical enough...so naturally when I saw the Eiffel Tower getting knocked over by the runaway plane I figured they were probably in Paris or New York(since I thought the only tall building in the US was in NY...the Empire State building. Shyeah! How could I have gotten that wrong? They don't even look the same)...right? Naturally...try naturally not! Try L.A.--evidently they have a fake little Eiffel Tower there (have I ever been there??? NO. Have you? Of course). So of course when you made me repeat the question I had already figured out I asked the wrong one...Thanks for laughing...jerk...ha ha ha. I admit. It was pretty funny. I'm so glad we can laugh at my expense of being stupid. The sad part is...I wasn't stupid until I met you. Anyways...

Calvin Klein

You were looking at me that way again...the coy, innocent "I didn't do that" face, you know, the one that Calvin (from Calvin & Hobbes) always makes when he gets in trouble. Ya, that's the one. I said, "Oh don't think you can just give me your Calvin Klein face and get away with it all!!" I suppose I forgot to differentiate the Calvins in my mind before speaking...So what! I went for the underwear model instead! (what does that say about my subconcious?)

Cenataur

Remember when I told you it was for sure a "good thing I look like a CENATAUR!" And you were like..."Oh...what does a Cenataur look like?" And I was like: "You know! Half man, half bull!" Of course you started laughing and I knew I was wrong..."I think you mean Centaur babe! Which is actually a half man, half horse. Half man, half bull is a MINotaur!" I knew that...

Numb Lips

Remember when you were sitting in training with Emilee and your lips got numb and bitter because you ate an apple without washing it so it probably had poisonous pesticides on it? Cute...but sometimes a little slow. ha ha ha.